Time flies

Almost a year to date, I was writing that I was living on an isolated jewel, that going out of Australia was harder than crossing the French border to go.. well.. anywhere. I wrote I was unsure about the future I had. A few drama and 12 months later, here I stand. I could have chosen to stop, to escape but I kept trying, I got up. 

So let me tell you something. I always referred as falling ill as an eye-opener, making you realise that life means everything but is also so fragile. yet, I was still anxious about what to do before, I wanted to have it all sorted/decided and if changes in plans would arise, I'd deal with them when they'd appear. But I switched perspective and I am not so much worried about controlling things  anymore and if what I really want is meant to be, it will come in time. Patience is a virtue after all. There is no need to rush things, no need to chase moments but only dreams and even to do so, chance should be welcomed.

Life is complicated, ok, but it is only up to you to make it simple. As an example, I had plans with someone dear this weekend but in the end it wasn't possible. Instead of thinking too much about how nice it would have been, I thought about what it will be when we'll actually catch up and got happy.

Every second is a special moment you are gifted with. Be grateful and make the most out of your life. There is no space for wasted minutes or hard feelings. If you want to experience or say something, go ahead and dare. 

Life Update pt. 2

A gentle soul, smiling but broken. This is probably how people perceive me. The people that knew me before, during and after the whole situation. The ones that have seen the evolution and the changes in my personality: I am more fragile, vulnerable, and yet stronger. 

Nevertheless I am still full of joy, I am still full of life. I still get excited about random things -maybe more- because I know all is ephemeral. And people crossing my way now would not imagine or hardly believe what I've been through and how come I am still standing there.

No matter how long our lives are, they'll be fleeting anyway. So you might as well try to live to the fullest, achieve your goals and help others to do the same. The only way to be immortal is through the legacy you leave behind, the memories that will remain once you're gone. 

So far I've heard many things: that I had been an angel during the whole time, that I managed and am handling the situation well, that my courage was transcendent and admirable, that I inspire respect as I am not focusing on my life but rather thinking about others. 

But you don't see me in the dark. When I wake up and open my eyes at the night and look through the window, then I go back to what is called sleep but ends in nightmares. My body might not bear any mark of this event, but the implosion left many shards inside. My eyes are still sparkling and shining however sometimes when they shut down there is no light left. 

There are many things not shown, or left unsaid. And it will take a while to reveal the scar, to accept the feelings. But as I said in my other article I have a few things on to look forward to such as: